Existence
by Autobiography di I
Summary: “What are you doing here?” “I work here.” It was the second time they had this exchange.
1. Quarrel

Existence

ex·is·tence ig zíst'ns

n

single living thing: something that lives or exists (literary or archaic)

* * *

Existence 

She couldn't help but feel as if she was a teenager who'd disobeyed her parent. That she'd done something so blatantly wrong that she couldn't even feel sympathy for herself. She almost felt as if she should start thinking of a few excuses she could fall back on if the truth wasn't enough.

A healthy laugh left her lips at her silliness. She was forty-plus. She didn't have to answer to anyone but God and she was still unsure of his existence. How could she let a man, her equal, her partner make her feel so inadequate?

She'd made her decision and he'd just have to deal with it.

"_What are you doing here?"_

"_I work here."_

_It was the second time they had this exchange._

_He stared at her and he tried to blow her bluff. He knew she wasn't great at poker. She never has been. Much to his surprise, the ends of her lips didn't curve and she didn't crack a smile and her bright brown eyes didn't divert. They were steadily focused on his blue orbs._

"_You can't work here," he said simply._

_It was a demand not a plea. A demand. She laughed at the seriousness in his voice, not for one second taking his words under consideration. She knew he meant what he said with every fiber of his being but she also didn't understand how he could be so stupid. He knew her better than she knew herself and she was never one to abide by the influence of someone, especially if they were trying to smother her with it._

"_So, Benson and Stabler back together again?" _

_Olivia turned around at the voice and she smiled instantly. "Hey, Fin," she said._

"_What's up, Liv? You here to be my new partner? The old man is starting to grow more and more dubious," Fin grinned. _

"_Well, that's Munch for you," she replied, reaching over and grabbing Elliot's mug out his hand and sipping his coffee, "but really, I am gonna need a partner so if you're offering-"_

"_Liv, I think we need to talk in the cribs. Now."_

_She rolled her eyes dramatically before she took another sip of his dangerously hot coffee. "Maybe if this coffee wasn't so black, he'd be in a better mood," Olivia whispered to Fin as she followed Elliot to the cribs. "Yes, master?" she teased._

"_Liv, we can't be in the same precinct and you know it," he bit out at her._

"_Well the last time I checked, I was not Mrs. Elliot Stabler," she retorted. _

"_We just kissed our three year old goodbye on her first day off to pre-school, Liv, that's pretty damn close to being married," Elliot said before sighing. _

"_I don't have to answer to you," she was dismissing his call all together. She didn't have time to be wasting on him and his pre-conceived opinions of her. Since she gave birth to their child, he's chosen not to see her as a woman who can take just as much as she dishes out. But as a defensless woman. A mother. As someone who needed the protection. As if she hadn't attended the same academy as he did._

"_You're impossible, Olivia." His intense blues stared right through her. "Every time I see you it's something new," he whispered as he walked to the door._

"_So I hear," she said softly before turning her attention back the coffee in her hand._

"_We'll talk about this tonight."_

"Bisghetti, Mommy!"

Olivia snapped out of her thoughts at the shrill of her three-year old daughter. She looked over at her and smiled softly as her plump, dimpled cheeks still stood out even though she'd been frowning. She didn't appreciate being ignored.

"What is it El," Olivia asked as Elise Marie Benson-Stabler stood at the arm of the couch, her elbows digging into the soft fabric, her pretty little face resting on her fists.

"I said I want bisghetti," her voice was small and soft.

"Mm, want to lay with me first?"

"I 'na eat first, Mom," she whined, her bottom lip sticking out.

"Your father spoils you too much, you little brat." Olivia smirked as she pulled her feet from off of the top of the coffee table. "Come here, rug rat." She easily lifted her up and rested her on her hip as she walked into the kitchen.

"I not a rat," Elise said, pressing her stubby fingers flat against her mothers cheeks, pushing them in before laughing. "You look like Nemo!"

"I know. I was going for this look this morning." Olivia grinned before kissing her daughters cheek. She sat her down on the counter and pressed her hand on her bony knee, raising an eyebrow at her. "Sit here, El, be careful."

"I won't fall," Elise declared, positioning herself so she sat crossed-legged.

"You want _bisghetti_ O's?"

"No! AB's! I want bisghetti AB's!"

"Spaghetti ABC's it is," Olivia said as she pressed the can to the electric can opener.

"Daddy!"

"El, Daddy is busy tonight but you can call after dinner," Olivia said as she searched for a suitable sized pot for the Chef Boyardee goods.

"No, Daddy here," Elise squealed. Olivia turned around to see Elliot pulling his jacket off and throwing it across the side table by the door. "I 'na get down!"

"Jesus, El, don't whine." Olivia picked her up off of the counter and set her down on her feet, only for her to take off running to her father. Olivia smiled as she heard the sloppy kissed being delivered to Elliot's cheek and the chorused I love you's they shared.

"Hey, Liv," Elliot greeted and she nodded toward him, acknowledging his existence.

"Dad, you wanna play? I 'na play," Elise smiled, showing off all her baby teeth.

"How about you go draw daddy a picture?" Elliot asked, in an attempt to get Olivia to himself so he could yell and berate her until she caved in.

"I drew in school," Elise dismissed.

"Okay, how about you get some toys and-"

"I played with toys in school, daddy," she said, shrugging a bony shoulder, blinking hard, looking up at the ceiling. She was ready for any suggestion he could throw at her.

"Princess, how about you go in mommy's room and find one of those movies you love so much so you can watch with daddy after your bath?" Olivia asked, smirking lightly and the little girl grinned.

"Cool! Daddy and me watchin' movies!" She wiggled out of her fathers arms and ran out of the room.

"I'm gonna be watching movies until twelve," he complained.

"She can barely stay up past eight, El," Olivia said as she dumped the contents of the can into the pot. "And before you start, we're not discussing anything to do with work. This is mommy and El time, not mommy and jackass time so if your not here to enjoy some _bisghetti_ ABC's then you go say bye to Lease and I'll see you at work tomorrow."

"Liv…" he muttered, closing his eyes tightly. He hates when she's stubborn. It reminds him too much of himself.

"Elliot," she mocked, turning around to the counter behind her, pulling out a spoon before turning back to the pan of non-authentic Italian food. "I want to work with SVU. It's where I belong," she whispered.

"Why not Brooklyn SVU? Bronx, Queens or Staten Island…why Manhattan? I can't work with you," he said, watching as she stirred the spaghetti.

"Well, that's nice, El. Thanks for sparing my feelings," she said sarcastically before continuing, "I didn't want to work with you either, El but there was no room in any of the five boroughs except Manhattan and it's only temporary."

"I don't want you working anywhere, Olivia-"

"I'm not Kathy."

"And I know it."

She glared at him before opening the cabinet and pulling out the Dora the Explorer bowl and spoon Elise loved so much. As she began spooning the spaghetti, she felt his hands on her hips and he pulled her closer to him. She ignored him and placed the bowl down and turned the stove off. He planted a gentle kiss on her shoulder and she laughed.

"You can't bribe me with sex," she said, humor evident in her voice. She turned around to look at him, licking the deep red sauce off of her thumb.

"It was innocent," he smiled. "Since when do I not have say in if you work on the force or not? You're the mother of my daughter and I remember you promising me-"

"Remember when you promised me forever?"

He drew in a deep breath through his nose, his nostrils flaring, his hands dropping to his sides. That was a low blow and she knew it. She'd been making a habit of throwing that in his face every since he and Kathy decided it'd be better for their family if they got back together. He said they could work it out.

"Liv-"

"I'm not your wife Elliot and you can't have us both. You belong to Kathy. She know where you are right now?"

"Olivia, you know-"

"No, El, I don't know. I'm tired of my whole life being yours…it's not an equal deal. I'll be back to work on Monday officially so you'll have to deal with it."

"You don't have to be so damn bitter, Liv. Jesus. I'd think we could handle this like two responsible adults," Elliot told her. She could see the red rising in his neck, knowing he was getting angrier.

"Other than the fact that you're Leasy's father, I owe you nothing. I'm grown and I don't have to explain myself to you," she said, her eyes searching in his for some type of response. She turned back to the pan when he shook his head and left the room. "Elise! Dinner's ready!"

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This is my first for SVU! YAY!! So, comment and critique. 

I don't know if I'll continue…maybe if inspired by reviews, I will!


	2. Impugn

"Lease, don't do this to me right now," Olivia pleaded. She wondered when she'd become a bargainer with a three-year old.

"I wanna stay with mommy," Elise whined, her Dora the Explorer sneaker encased feet pounding on the cement. Olivia sent a glance over to the other children, dragging their parents into the pre-school by their pinkies. She envied those parents.

Olivia sighed and shut her eyes before shaking off the initial reaction of yelling at the little girl. Telling her that not everybody was going to give her everything she wanted like her father did. Boy, did she hate her father.

Elliot.

He hadn't been over in two full days. He let his anger toward her keep him away from his youngest daughter. It was a record for him. He'd usually stop by after work, given the hour was appropriate or at least call. It was a first and she had to admit she was surprised he was that angry with her.

"Mom!" Elise writhed and bounced up and down, her tiny fingers squeezing her mothers. "I just 'na stay with you. That all," she said, her bottom lip quivering.

Olivia opened her eyes too look into those of her daughter, admiring the color they were turning into. She crouched down so that she was nose to nose with her. "Leasy, mommy has a lot to do today. I need to get ready for my return to work," Olivia said softly.

"I know and when you go back you won't stay with me anymore and I'm never gonna see you and I like seeing you. I miss daddy. I don't wanna miss mommy, too," Elise said as tears left her eyes, settling at the top of her plump cheek before cascading down to her chin.

Olivia almost felt her own lip quiver at the confession and she reached out to her and pulled her into her arms, lifting her up as she stood. Elise buried her face into Olivia's neck, tears still falling from her eyes.

"You know, Leasy, I always say I hate your father for spoiling you," Olivia muttered as she walked to the school, "but I spoil you just as much," she chuckled into her long, thin, brown hair.

"Why are we going into the school?" Elise hiccupped.

"I'm going to tell them that my princess is spending the day with her mommy. Just this once, though, okay?" she asked, her lips brushing her ear.

"Kay," Elise answered softly, tightening her arms around her mother's neck.

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Watching as she pumped her feet back and forth put a smile on her face. She was so innocently beautiful and untainted. She hadn't had a care in the world. She squatted down so that she was right in front of her, finally getting her attention off of the pink lollipop she'd been sucking on.

"Hello, Ms. Elise Stabler," Casey said, cupping the beautiful little girls chin. A big smile spread on her lips before bringing her hand up and waving.

"Hi, Auntie Casey," Elise replied as Casey picked her up off of the bench she'd been sitting on.

"Where's mommy?" Casey asked.

"What'd I tell you about talking to blonde Assistant District Attorneys?" Olivia questioned and Casey turned around to find Olivia with a stack of files in her arms.

"That they're simply beautiful," Casey grinned. "Liv, every time I see her, she gets more and more precious."

"Thanks. If you only knew. Where is Munch? He promised to watch her," Olivia said, her hand tickling Elise's tummy, making her laugh.

"Mommy!" she squealed, slapping her hand away.

"Where did Munch run off to, sweetheart?"

"Munchy went to get me daddy 'cause I told him I want daddy," Elise said simply and Olivia sighed.

"That's exactly what I need right now," Olivia muttered.

"So, I saw El and I asked him how you and Lease were doing and he said something along the lines of you were returning. He's opposed to it, I assume?" Casey asked.

"Oh, yes. He and I aren't on speaking terms," Olivia informed. "You want to attend lunch with Leasy and I?"

"I'm actually free and anytime I can sit across from a beautiful face like this," Casey bounced Elise in her arm before turning back to Olivia, "I'm happy."

"Daddy!" Elise wiggled out of Casey's hold and ran to her father. He scooped her up into his arms and kissed her cheek.

"What's up, Lease?" he asked, before kissing her again. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed a long kiss to his cheek.

"Daddy, you're face is stubby!" she exclaimed, referring to his five o'clock shadow. "Wanna come with me, mommy and Casey to lunch?"

"Elise, I'm at work so I can't leave but-"

"It's alright man, I'll tell Cragen you went for lunch." John sent a smile over to Olivia, knowing that she and Elliot were still, obviously, not on speaking terms.

"Die," Olivia muttered, rolling her eyes.

"That's not nice," Casey said nudging her in the ribs with her elbow. The two shared a knowing glance before turning back to Elliot, Olivia praying he'd come up with an excuse to satisfy the three-year old.

Elliot looked over to Olivia before looking back at his daughters face. Her smile had faded away and she somehow become this magnificent actress. Her long, dark eyelashes fluttered a few times before she looked back up at him to reveal the tears in her big bluish-green eyes.

"Please daddy? Munchy says it's alright," she whined, playing with his tie and he chuckled softly before kissing her forehead.

"I could never say no to a face like that," he whispered and she smiled before turning around to look at her mother.

"I want bisghetti!"

"How about french-fries and chicken nuggets?" Olivia asked and Elise thought about it for a minute before nodding and popping the pink lollipop back into her mouth.

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"So, am I the fourth wheel or am I the fourth wheel?" Casey asked, sticking her white plastic fork into her salad and moving it around a bit.

"No Case, it's just that some people are so ignorant that they can't put aside their feeling just once for someone they love," Elliot explained, and she nodded, biting down on her bottom lip.

"Or is it that some people give and give to the point where they feel they can't give anymore. To the point where they have nothing left to give. To the point where they have to do some things for themselves," Olivia said, each word coming through clenched teeth.

"Isn't that what being a parent is? Sacrifice? I mean, I've been sacrificing myself every since Kath told me she was pregnant. I guess I'm different, Case, because I'm not used to be a stuck up, little-"

"Son-of-a-bi-"

"I gotta go potty!" Elise said, dropping the crayons she'd been using to color the clown in the circus with, and standing. Just as Olivia placed her fork down and was pushing back from under the table, Casey put her hand up.

"No, Auntie Casey's got this one!" she replied, smiling happily as she escorted Elise to the ladies room.

"You are such an asshole if you think I'm selfish," Olivia decided aloud, shaking her head. She laughed at nothing in particular before she continued. "Selfish is telling someone that you love them one night and then leaving them because your wife decides she'd put up with you for the sake of your kids when you're not even in love anymore. Selfish is asking me if I'd consider giving my child up for adoption because it'd be a better situation for you and your family."

She remembered when she'd told him she was pregnant. She remembered him falling back into the sofa behind him, rubbing his hands over his face, muttering something about him and Kathy getting back together. She almost felt the tears pool her eyes as they did then.

"Selfish is you spending five minutes with Lease on holidays. Selfish is looking me in my face every day and not understanding the hurt and pain you put me through. I tell you I love you and I give myself to you and she snaps her fingers and you don't care. I'm tired of me and my daughter being an inconvenience in your life, El. Selfish is asking me to give up the one place I've ever felt wanted or needed. The only place I've made a difference," she saw Casey and Elise coming back from the bathroom, so she relaxed in her seat and took a deep breath. She stood up and grabbed her purse. "I'll tell Lease you said goodbye," she whispered.

It's not always going to be bad and THANKS SO MUCH for all the positive feedback!


	3. Exoneration

"I hate when you come here at night and don't knock or call. You scare the shit out of me," Olivia said as she turned the faucet on and filled her glass up with water. "And before you start, I'm sorry." She'd had a lot of time to herself to digest the things she blurted out to him at lunch.

He'd been ready to yell at her and shake her until she understood where he was coming from but then she goes and says sorry. She amazed him every time.

"An inconvenience, Liv? My daughter isn't an inconvenience. I've never said that. I would never say anything like that," he said softly, opening the refrigerator and pulling out a beer, popping it open and finishing half of the bottle with one gulp.

"You're absolutely right, El. I know how much you love her," she whispered, sipping the water from the cup.

"Why don't you ever talk to me?" he whispered, leaning up against the counter opposite from her.

"And say what? I hate that you chose Kathy and that family over me and Elise?" she questioned, turning her back to him as she felt tears fall. "I also hate that you made me prove every cliché and rumor about us to be true," she threw her head back and laughed. "I mean, after all the arguing with Munch."

"What'd you want me to do, Liv?"

"Elliot, you came to me and we talked for the first time. I mean we really talked. About everything! From Dani," she paused, an image of him and her together flashing in her head. She remembered telling him she didn't want the full story on them. He'd assured her they had only kissed, but she didn't believe it for a second. "To the littlest things, El, we talked about us and the reason behind our failing partnership. You told me you loved me."

He hadn't noticed when her voice became so deep and thick with pure emotion.

"Well, I do love you, Liv," Elliot whispered.

"And then you made love to me. You said that if you had anything to do with it, we'd grow old together and get out of the hustle and bustle of Manhattan and go to a smaller city in New York like New Rochelle. But it was bullshit. Plain and simple. You played me and I fell for it. I never thought I'd need to have to protect myself from you, El, not from you," she said, her pointer finger drawing patterns on the counter top.

"Liz started doing real bad in school right after the divorce. Dickie decided girls are way more important than anything. Katie and Maur are completely distant from every one in the family," he told her and she turned around to look at him. "My family was falling apart Liv and both Kathy and I saw that. I barely see Kathy, by the way, if that's what's got you so worked over. Besides saying goodnight to each other-"

"You shouldn't be telling me this, El," Olivia whispered, finally turning back around to look at him. "Things between us need to be unsaid because when they aren't, things get too-"

"Complicated," he finished for her and she nodded, smiling.

"Complicated," Olivia agreed before sticking her hand out; a peace offering. "Friends?"

"Friends." They shook on it.

As she stared at him she couldn't help but want to laugh. Since the day they exchanged in their professional connection for something way deeper and passionate, they would never be just friends again. Kathy or not. He was hers.

And they both knew it.

"So, where is the little rat?" he asked, smiling.

"Picking out a book to read. Wanna join, daddy?"

"Any time, momma." He sat his beer down and they walked into their daughter's room to find her already asleep with a red stuffed giraffe in her arms, asleep on the fluffed pink carpet, her thin lips wrapped around her thumb.

"You pick her up and I'll pull her sheets back," Olivia said, unpeeling the Disney Princess comforter from the mattress, revealing the matching sheets. He laid her down and pulled the comforter up to her chin. "We love you," Olivia muttered, kissing her forehead.

"Night, night rug-rat," he smiled, kissing her cheek.

"That was easy," Olivia whispered, turning her night light on.

"So, I'll see you at work on Monday?" he asked.

"Yeah El, see you Monday."


	4. Revive

"It's not like I'm getting married and am no longer a free woman or something. Case, I'm just going back to Detective Benson mode for a few hours a day," Olivia chuckled. "Now, if we were going to do this it should've been the night before I slept with Elliot four years ago."

"Well, I didn't know you were planning on getting pregnant," Casey chuckled, rolling her eyes, making Olivia laugh. "It's been a full week since you've been back so that kinda makes it official."

"I told Elliot I had something very important to do tonight so he, Lease and Lizzie are out at a movie," Olivia said, pushing her hair out of her face. "Now when I go home I'm gonna have a buzz after drinking tequila and vodka all night."

"Don't worry. You walk in the house, wave them good-bye and go to sleep. What's so hard about that?" the ADA asked as she sipped on her drink.

"I don't know if you know this but Elliot Stabler is a detective," Olivia giggled. "And you'd better not be drunk 'cause you're driving us home. Imagine us getting pulled over. Assistant District Attorney, Casey Novak and Detective Olivia Benson of the NYPD were drunk driving, going 77 in a 40 lane. Cragen would think that's just delicious."

"I'm sure he would." Casey smiled, looking down at her drink. They sat there for a few moments before Casey cleared her throat. "Liv, what's going on?"

"Huh?"

"With you, Elliot and Kathy?" she asked, softly.

"Nothing. Kathy is a beautiful person, I have to admit, but she's holding on to a fairytale," Olivia sighed. "She invited me and Lease over for Thankgiving but I declined. No matter how modern this world is coming to be, we'll never be that modern. It's still kind of weird. I can't sit across her without squirming in my seat for the whole dinner. And there's nothing going on."

"And you and El?" Casey pried.

"Elliot and I are on good grounds. I wish there was a way though, that he could see Elise without seeing me. Some times he comes over after work and he hugs her so tight. I know he's just trying to forget about whatever battered child he'd rescued. He sits on the floor in her room and he plays Barbie dolls with her. He makes this hilarious woman's voice," she said smiling, biting down on her bottom lip. She looked back up to see the woman who'd over the years become her best friend and her sister, and shrugged. "I don't know why, but seeing that makes me want him so much more," Olivia said softly, her pointer finger slowly circling the brim of the glass she had in her hand.

"You two are so in love its ridiculous," Casey answered back with a grin on her face.

"But at the same time, I hate his guts. Seeing each other at work and any time we're spending time with Elise is all I can bare. So," she sighed, a small smile on her face, "I'm going out on a date with a thirty year old whom I met while grocery shopping."

"Oh my God! About time you're love life has been revived. When?" Casey's eyes lit up as she waited for her to continue.

"I don't know. He say's he'll call but we are going out. That's for sure," Olivia answered. "El doesn't like when I date, though."

"And we care? He's the one who is married, Liv, Jesus. He can be a factor in every other part of your life but not this one! You need to get laid," Casey told her.

"If you only knew," Olivia sighed.

"When was the last time you-"

"Well, I dated Mike," she whispered, her eyes cast downward.

"That was in the beginning of the year, Liv, that's just sad," Casey told her shaking her head, her blonde ponytail flying loosely. "That's a long time to be without some good loving from the male species."

"Shut up. You're the one with all the hot guy lawyers," Olivia smirked.

"Yeah and isn't a shame I'm always stuck with some old fart like Barry?" Casey asked, rolling her eyes. "Besides, detectives are a hell of a lot sexier."

"When there are bullshit defense attorneys like Langan who are also hot, then you can't complain."

"He defends scum," she dismissed. "Fin, Stabler and Munch are all hot in their own ways."

"Yeah, I can just imagine Munch's skinny ass in a pair of tighty wighties. How hot is that?" Olivia grinned as she finished her drink. "You've been such a great date, Case, but I've got to get home."

"Oh thanks, Liv. It's always been my dream to date you."

"And I believe it."

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"Where the hell have you been?" Elliot questioned, watching as Olivia shrugged her jacket off.

"Out," she answered, throwing it across a chair.

"Some guy named Giacomo called," Elliot said as he continued eating his Chinese food.

"Where are Liz and Elise?" Olivia asked, changing the subject.

"Maureen and Katie decided they'd take their little sisters out because apparently I'm not cool enough so I stayed here. Kathleen just dropped Lease off maybe thirty minutes ago," he asked, watching as she walked toward him. She leaned over and wrapped her hand around his and stabbed a piece of General Tso's Chicken and bought it up to her lips, biting it off of the end of the fork.

"That's good."

"Thanks," he whispered, turning around to watch as she walked into the kitchen. "I don't mind that you date Liv, but why lie? How many guys are there anyway? Two so far right? This guy tonight and Giacomo. What is he? Italian?"

"Yeah. He's Italian," she said as she grabbed a bottle of water. "His name is James but we established it was Giacomo in Italian so I told him I'd call him Giacomo."

She didn't know why she felt the need to explain herself or answer any of his questions.

"So who'd you go out with tonight?" Elliot asked as he stood up from the table and walked into the kitchen, grabbing the water out of her hand. "Thanks."

"Does it matter?" she asked, looking up at him.

His eyes squinted at her and he tried desperately to figure out what she was thinking.

"So, it was a date?" he questioned as he followed her out into the foyer.

"Maybe," she said. She was unsure of why she was lying to him and making him believe she'd been dating.

"Walk me to the door," he told her, as he put his jacket on. She silently watched as he unlocked the door and she crossed her arms against her chest. She knew he was jealous and she loved it. "Can I have a hug goodbye?"

"A hug goodbye?" She laughed as she opened her arms to him and was pulled into a hug. His arms locked around her waist and he buried his face in her neck, making her laugh. She knew him too well. "Smell any cologne?"

He laughed as he pulled back to look at her. She watched as his intense blue eyes squinted at her again and she wondered what he was thinking. Just as she opened her mouth to ask, he took advantage and leaned in and pressed his lips to hers, his tongue plunging into her mouth. She was hesitant at first but kissed him back, their tongues dancing a slow tango before she could think to pull away.

"Girly drink. Definitely a date," he decided against her lips. "You didn't want to make him feel inferior by throwing back a beer." He thought he was so brilliant.

"Asshole!" She slapped his chest and unwrapped his arms from around her waist. "And, I went out with Casey Novak, dumb ass. It was a welcome back drink."

"Oh," he shrugged, a grin planted on his face. "So you're dating Casey Novak? That's hot," he said, mimicking one of his daughters quotes.

"Don't you ever kiss me again, Stabler. We work in the same place…employee sexual harassment."

"My defense is Elise Stabler. A been there, done that type of thing," he said laughing.

"Get out." No matter how angry she tried to be, a smile the size of Texas graced her face. She watched as he walked down the hall and she felt a need low in her stomach. She wasn't yearning for food but aching for his touch. It felt good to have his lips on hers again.

She shook her head, still smiling, knowing that she'd be able to blame him for reviving, stimulating, revitalizing, igniting an old flame when they end up in the same bed together.

-----

Not sure who told me not to, but I know I was warned to not make Liv fall out of love with our darling Elliot so in the process of carrying out my evil plan that will remain unsaid, I gave you a little E/O.

Don't bite.


	5. Oblique

"This was very nice, James. I've got to admit, you manage to sweep me off my feet every time," Olivia said, a tight smile penciled neatly onto her face.

She already knew how cliché that sounded and she didn't mean for it to sound that way. She hoped he didn't catch the insincerity in her voice because she really did like him.

He was a nice guy. He was always great company in the three short weeks they'd been dating, which Olivia wouldn't call dating in the least bit without a word in front of it, like maybe quasi or pseudo. She settled for label of hanging out. She'd either cancelled or postponed just about every date they'd scheduled.

"I had a great time with you, too," James responded, a grin plastered on his face. His piercing blue eyes, not as raw and passionate as Elliot's but beautiful nonetheless, were gazing right at her. "Do you think Elise is still up? I really want to meet her."

"It is way past her bedtime so I'm sure she's asleep," she chuckled. She was lying through her teeth and she knew it. Never had Elise Marie Benson-Stabler been in her bed at eight o'clock on a Friday evening.

Her lying was justified in this case, though. It was simple enough for even Tarzan to comprehend: Elliot was upstairs with Elise; Elliot no like James; Elliot get big and scary at the mention of James.

It wouldn't be a situation Olivia wanted to put herself in so soon.

"But I say we have a play date so Elise can meet your son some time," Olivia responded.

"That sounds nice. I'll call you."

He leaned in and she felt her heart begin to pound. This is exactly what happened last time. He was going to lean in and she was going to turn her head ever so slightly and he'd kiss the side of her mouth and he'd give her a look, wondering why she wouldn't let him get close to her. She'd say something about Elise and they'd go their separate ways.

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"You are a very beautiful woman, Detective Benson. I don't understand why you do such dirty work."

Elliot threw his head back as a cackle left his lips before responding, "She hasn't heard that one before."

"Thank you Mr. Kelly, but-"

"Where were you two nights ago?" Elliot asked, cutting Olivia off. She glared at him, wanting to reach over and smack him in his face, before looking back at the suspect sitting in front them.

"I told you and your beautiful partner," Henry Kelly paused sending a toothy smile to Olivia, "I was home alone. I watched a movie all night."

The stupid smile was wiped clear off his face when Elliot's open hand collided with the back of his head.

She silently shook her head, knowing that if she looked up, she'd laugh at the stunned look on Mr. Kelly's face. It was coming, she was sure. She knew Elliot's jealousy would show face sooner or later, no matter how much of a low life the flirter was.

"What the hell is your problem, man?" Henry yelled, clutching his head.

"I don't like when I'm being bullshitted by some little bitch!" Elliot yelled, his fist slamming down one the table.

"Benson, Stabler," Captain Cragen said, poking his head into the interview room, "I need you."

"We'll be back," Elliot promised and Henry rolled his eyes as the duo left the room.

"Yeah, Cap?" Olivia asked.

"He's not our guy. Fin says the video store's camera got a clean shot of him buying a stack of mature movies and his neighbors don't remember him leaving his home after entering at six," Cragen explained. "And that means sitting on our other suspect until he gets home."

"Stabler and I on a stakeout, Cap, how nice," Olivia muttered sarcastically as she grabbed her jacket.

"Elliot, how about trying not to kill all of men who hit on Liv?" Cragen asked.

"Whatever," he said, following Olivia out of the squad room.

---------------------------------

"You can't keep ignoring me El," Olivia said softly, her fingers of her left hand drumming against the headboard. "Every since I started dating you've been avoiding me and you won't let me speak when we're interrogating-"

"You're not my partner, Liv, you shouldn't be in the interrogation room with me, anyway."

"So what! While Munch is away on family business you are bound to be partnered up with Fin or myself," Olivia said before sipping her coffee. She reached out and turned on the radio, bopping her head to an unfamiliar tune.

"My daughter tells me she met your boyfriend," Elliot finally said, his finger smashing into the knob, turning the music off. "You should talk to me about these things before you introduce my-"

"Our daughter, Elliot," Olivia corrected. "And she did not meet my _boyfriend_. I don't have a boyfriend."

"Oh so some guy didn't go with you two to the park, Liv?" he pressed, finally turning to look at her, testing her. After milk and cookies with his youngest daughter, she'd explained to him how some guy friend of her mothers pushed her on the swing. He knew what he heard and it actually surprised him that she was denying it.

"As a matter of fact, detective," she said, her eyes challenging his own, "I busted Casey and Langan having a lunch date. She sold out." She smiled, shaking her head, at the thought of her blonde friend at a loss for words. Of all the years she'd known Casey Novak, the brilliant ADA, she'd never been at a loss for words. It was beautiful. "And Langan pushed her on the swing not my _boyfriend_."

"That's refreshing," he whispered, looking out of the window, his arms crossed against his solid chest.

"You've been looking for an argument all week and now that you've got nothing to go on, you're still gonna act like a fool. I'm not going to be lonely for the rest of my life, El."

"Can we leave our personal lives out of work, Liv? I told you I didn't want to talk about this."

She opened her mouth to respond but stopped when she saw him pull his radio up to his lips.

"Our guy's back, Cap. We're going in."

---------------------------------

"So…"

"So," Elliot repeated, looking at her with his eyebrow raised.

"So I'm expecting an apology, Stabler. You owe me one," Olivia said, bringing Elise's sleeping form closer to her chest.

"I owe you shit," he said simply. He didn't feel like arguing with her but his ego wouldn't let him utter an apology, especially when she'd been spending less time with him and Elise to spend time with her infamous _Giacomo_. They'd only been dating for three weeks and he's almost erased any memory of Elliot's existence.

"I wish you'd watch your damn mouth, Elliot," Olivia said, leaning down and kissing her daughters forehead. "I hope she doesn't mock your speaking habits."

"Whatever."

"Yeah. Everything is whatever with you these days," she whispered, bringing her feet up to rest on the coffee table, toeing her shoes off and watching them fall to the floor with a plump. She looked back over to him, watching as he pushed his head deep into the plush sofa, settling comfortably, his eyes almost shut but not quite. She already knew she wasn't going to get an apology. She cleared her throat and he looked up at her.

"What?" he asked softly, his hand scrubbing the five o'clock shadow that appeared on his face.

"I hate that I only see her when I get home from work and by then she's knocked out. I only get to argue with her in the mornings, making her get up and pushing her to get ready for school. And on Saturdays we go grocery shopping and of course I'm yelling at her there because three year olds don't know how to keep their little fingers to themselves when walking down isles full of colorful foods," Olivia complained, pushing Elise's thin dark hair out of her face. "And I don't like arguing with you all the time Elliot. Every time I turn around we're at each others throat. I go to work and I deal with the scum of the earth. I come home and deal with a little girl wants all my attention and then I'm arguing with you 'cause of something I either did or you heard I did. Then I have to work with you the next day where you ignore and avoid me like I'm a plague. And of course I'm working over time which means I'm paying the babysitter over time. I'm hating this."

"Liv, I told you."

"Yeah…" she glanced over at him before rolling her eyes. "Whatever," she said, stealing his line. "Lease's birthday is coming up. Do you want to take her out with Dickie, Liz, Maureen and Kathleen or do you want to have a little party for her like last year? Because we both know how well that worked out."

"Kathy wanted to come, Liv. What was I going to say?"

"I don't know but she succeeded in making me feel so uncomfortable in my own skin, in my own home at my daughter's birthday party," Olivia said, both her eyebrows hitched. She felt herself getting angry so she pulled her legs back and pushed herself up to a standing position. "I'm gonna lay her down."

When she returned to the room, he was stretched out on the sofa, his head lying on a square pillow.

"You got a wife at home, Stabler. You can't sleep here."

"I'd be sleeping on a couch either way," he muttered, making her laugh.

"Maybe if you were home sometimes," she paused, scraping her nails against the base of his neck from behind, loving the feel of his short silky hair against the tips of her fingers. He grabbed her hand and he turned on his back so he could look up at her, "then she wouldn't be so paranoid."

"Yes, master," he grinned.

"This can't be a habit, alright? Things are too complicated already…I'm sure James thinks we're sleeping together and you've got a wife so this is the last night you're on my couch, Stabler. But I love you anyway," she said, leaning over the sofa and placing a kiss on his cheek. "This oblique way of living can't be good for normal people. Good night."

"We were never normal…I'm not even sure if we're sane but whatever."

---------------------------

Gosh…the holiday season always has someone busy doing something…

I apologize for the delay.

&& MERRY CHRISTMAWANAHANKKAH!


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